Psychophant's Rants
23.12.08
Fade to Black
There is a reason why I left the Gibson Board in the way I did. Besides my drama Queen leanings, I mean, as well as probably the unconscious hope that someone would ask me directly to stay.
In all the years I have been around the internet, since the days of mailing lists and distributed digests, into the current board systems, I have seen hundreds of people fade out.
I am sure you all know the phenomenon. A frequent poster, or at least an active one, slowly stops participating and then suddenly is not there anymore. Usually it takes some time before you realize she is not around. If you are moderately close you can always try to send a private message, which was easier back in the mailing list's time, as you already had their e-mail address. Now e-mail addresses are disposable, so that is not an option.
There are many people I am not close to but that I consider make up my board experience. There is nothing that unsettles me more when I see one of them gone without warning nor reason. The simple fact of not knowing compounds the disappeareance, whether it will be a temporary absence or if the group has unadvertently changed for ever.
I am not sure if others share this concern about these people that in some minor way interact with my life and then get lost. Minor because I do not feel involved enough to actually track them, but it still annoys me terribly not to know.
So, if only because I suppose there must be someone with a similar concern, I have announced my departure in advance, and made clear, to those who wanted to know, why I was leaving and where I could still be found. Maybe it shows my pride, to think that someone in a board might miss me, but I just think it is the right way, to say goodbye and leave an address for mailforwarding.
There is an army of ghosts that sometimes haunt me. Those people I might have been friends with, but for one reason or another we never got close enough for that. In the last years most of the ghosts are electronic, colourful masks with nothing behind them. Ghosts slowly fade, people definitely go. I just want to be seen as a real person, not an ambiguous ghost. ¶ 10:58 AM
There is a reason why I left the Gibson Board in the way I did. Besides my drama Queen leanings, I mean, as well as probably the unconscious hope that someone would ask me directly to stay.
In all the years I have been around the internet, since the days of mailing lists and distributed digests, into the current board systems, I have seen hundreds of people fade out.
I am sure you all know the phenomenon. A frequent poster, or at least an active one, slowly stops participating and then suddenly is not there anymore. Usually it takes some time before you realize she is not around. If you are moderately close you can always try to send a private message, which was easier back in the mailing list's time, as you already had their e-mail address. Now e-mail addresses are disposable, so that is not an option.
There are many people I am not close to but that I consider make up my board experience. There is nothing that unsettles me more when I see one of them gone without warning nor reason. The simple fact of not knowing compounds the disappeareance, whether it will be a temporary absence or if the group has unadvertently changed for ever.
I am not sure if others share this concern about these people that in some minor way interact with my life and then get lost. Minor because I do not feel involved enough to actually track them, but it still annoys me terribly not to know.
So, if only because I suppose there must be someone with a similar concern, I have announced my departure in advance, and made clear, to those who wanted to know, why I was leaving and where I could still be found. Maybe it shows my pride, to think that someone in a board might miss me, but I just think it is the right way, to say goodbye and leave an address for mailforwarding.
There is an army of ghosts that sometimes haunt me. Those people I might have been friends with, but for one reason or another we never got close enough for that. In the last years most of the ghosts are electronic, colourful masks with nothing behind them. Ghosts slowly fade, people definitely go. I just want to be seen as a real person, not an ambiguous ghost. ¶ 10:58 AM
22.12.08
Cheap filler: more music
I am suffering from a quite heavy head cold, made worse by driving all around visiting customers, so I am not at my best. So rather than focus my thoughts and find some interesting subject, I will mention a past compilation that somehow did not make it into the blog, the one from 2007 (I intended to, but I just stopped blogging before I did). It is interesting that if I were to do this today there would be maybe half the choices that would change.
Drive (2007)
This was a driving CD, made for car listening. So there are three kinds of songs. Those that I associate with driving, whether from the music, the lyrics or some media association, such as a soundtrack. Those that I like to sing aloud while driving. Maybe it is because I drive a lot on my own, but singing is a good way to keep yourself awake and alert. Considering my singing abilities, it is also something I don't do with company. The last kind are those that just somehow fit my driving, or, at times, I fit my driving to the music. Powerful stuff, to use sparingly.
Misirlou – Dick Dale
I included the opening from Pulp Fiction, where this surf modified rebetika piece appears, just because it startles me, and startled means alert. The droning sound fits very well with the engine movements.
Supernaturally – Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Another moving piece, it is here mainly because I like singing lustily Hey Ho!
Peter Gunn Theme – The Blues Brothers Band
An automatic choice, as since my teens this music means slow night driving for my subconscious. A humming favorite.
Rainbow Man – The Pogues
Another song in the fast track, with a strong tempo and simple build. My favorite song of the Pogues without Shane McGowan.
One Thought at a Time – Massive Attack
Another song without frills, just the economic focus needed for high speed driving.
Missionary Man – Eurythmics
This one is fast, but not so focused, made for singing.
Emabhaceni – Miriam Makeba
Now we start to slow down and see the views, the passengers, the surroundings. Good for making the savage.
Perfect – Fairground Attraction
This one is better suited for chorusing, and slow, leisure driving.
Calling You – Jevetta Steele
The best option for reaching that "desert road, from Vegas to nowhere."
Drive – R.E.M.
Still on those roads, part of a transplanted foreign imaginarium.
Southside – Texas
Other Europeans caught in the same dreamed roads, spaces, times. At times you wonder if we see the same things, looking from the outside in, as those who are immersed in that world.
Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm – Crash Test Dummies
A song to be felt, rather than overanalyzed. Or to be hummed, which is a way to deeply feel the music after all.
Ballad of Lucy Jordan – Marianne Faithful
This is a must, both for its intrinsic value but mainly for those that jumped the chasm with Thelma and Louise.
Speedway at Nazareth – Mark Knopfler
Another ballad, this one gravelly and with a fast guitar. It also lowers down the emotional level for a quiet final run.
In My Heart – Moby
This choice comes from advertising overexposure. So much that I can bear it if I am riding on a car, but not in other circumstances.
Malted Milk – Eric Clapton
This song cleans up the palate and gets the mellow mood going, in order to stop nice and slow.
Laurens Walking – Angelo Badalamenti
The final song, my favorite for leisure travel, and also for solitary travel with no hurry. The Straight way.
¶ 11:42 AM
I am suffering from a quite heavy head cold, made worse by driving all around visiting customers, so I am not at my best. So rather than focus my thoughts and find some interesting subject, I will mention a past compilation that somehow did not make it into the blog, the one from 2007 (I intended to, but I just stopped blogging before I did). It is interesting that if I were to do this today there would be maybe half the choices that would change.
Drive (2007)
This was a driving CD, made for car listening. So there are three kinds of songs. Those that I associate with driving, whether from the music, the lyrics or some media association, such as a soundtrack. Those that I like to sing aloud while driving. Maybe it is because I drive a lot on my own, but singing is a good way to keep yourself awake and alert. Considering my singing abilities, it is also something I don't do with company. The last kind are those that just somehow fit my driving, or, at times, I fit my driving to the music. Powerful stuff, to use sparingly.
Misirlou – Dick Dale
I included the opening from Pulp Fiction, where this surf modified rebetika piece appears, just because it startles me, and startled means alert. The droning sound fits very well with the engine movements.
Supernaturally – Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Another moving piece, it is here mainly because I like singing lustily Hey Ho!
Peter Gunn Theme – The Blues Brothers Band
An automatic choice, as since my teens this music means slow night driving for my subconscious. A humming favorite.
Rainbow Man – The Pogues
Another song in the fast track, with a strong tempo and simple build. My favorite song of the Pogues without Shane McGowan.
One Thought at a Time – Massive Attack
Another song without frills, just the economic focus needed for high speed driving.
Missionary Man – Eurythmics
This one is fast, but not so focused, made for singing.
Emabhaceni – Miriam Makeba
Now we start to slow down and see the views, the passengers, the surroundings. Good for making the savage.
Perfect – Fairground Attraction
This one is better suited for chorusing, and slow, leisure driving.
Calling You – Jevetta Steele
The best option for reaching that "desert road, from Vegas to nowhere."
Drive – R.E.M.
Still on those roads, part of a transplanted foreign imaginarium.
Southside – Texas
Other Europeans caught in the same dreamed roads, spaces, times. At times you wonder if we see the same things, looking from the outside in, as those who are immersed in that world.
Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm – Crash Test Dummies
A song to be felt, rather than overanalyzed. Or to be hummed, which is a way to deeply feel the music after all.
Ballad of Lucy Jordan – Marianne Faithful
This is a must, both for its intrinsic value but mainly for those that jumped the chasm with Thelma and Louise.
Speedway at Nazareth – Mark Knopfler
Another ballad, this one gravelly and with a fast guitar. It also lowers down the emotional level for a quiet final run.
In My Heart – Moby
This choice comes from advertising overexposure. So much that I can bear it if I am riding on a car, but not in other circumstances.
Malted Milk – Eric Clapton
This song cleans up the palate and gets the mellow mood going, in order to stop nice and slow.
Laurens Walking – Angelo Badalamenti
The final song, my favorite for leisure travel, and also for solitary travel with no hurry. The Straight way.
¶ 11:42 AM
12.12.08
Compilations, revisited
I have already discussed my own approach for making a music compilation. Yet, this year I have changed things round, mainly because it is the last time I will be doing it with these people, and also because I want to send a message, which I do not usually do.
That means that this year, rather than choosing the songs for their impact on me, or how good I think they are, the main choice is the message they transmit, whether the music, the lyrics or both. Once again, if you want to receive it and haven't done so, which is more likely now that I have not updated addresses in a couple of years, drop me a message and we will work out something. The depth of the message will be lost on most people. You had to be there and all that. Contextual information that only a few share, and probably will be taken in different ways even if you were there.
So, as in previous years, here is this year's compilation.
Last
The intention is clear. I am burning bridges, so let's be open about it.
All Tomorrow's Parties - Japan. There are two different messages here. One is related to William Gibson and his novel of the same title. The second one is choosing Japan's cover, one of those 80s one hit wonders that made up my youth, and also the country that fascinates our small circle. The song itself, about time passing and what will you do resonates well with the rest of the songs.
Psychokiller - The Talking Heads. Both a pun with my nickname, and I really love the live version. Once again a symbol of a man running from himself.
The Ship Song - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. The imagery really fits with my own memories. More a what was than what is. Or what was lost.
The thrill is gone - The Waterboys (unedited version). In a nutshell, the why and the what, with some whining thrown in. It is no longer fun, and too often it hurts, if only due to the memory of how good it was. It probably could be considered a synopsis of my life, anyway.
Wish you were here - Pink Floyd. This came in mainly because I wanted to. Without forgetting the title and the lyrics are so representative of how the virtual often ends up. I also wanted to avoid using too many 80s songs, a weakness of mine, so I ended up with several from the 70s.
Sinnerman - Nina Simone. I run, this is a running song. And a wonderful song, the ten minutes of it. Probably I would have chosen a shorter cover, but as this is the Last, why worry?
Escuela de Calor - Radio Futura. A brief homage to where I come from, and if it does not really fit, you do not understand the lyrics anyway.
Cry if you want to - Holly Cole Trio. This has become my new mantra, more for the benefit of others than myself. I confess that I am tired of people being depressed around me, but we can only soldier on. Or not.
Personal Jesus (Acoustic) - Depeche Mode. Another ghost from my youth, retrofitted into the artificial teenage years brought about by the internet. The strange fulfillment that the virtual offers. What I am rejecting, at least for a while.
Pájaros - Gustavo Santolalla. Around here I was worried all I had were old songs, so dripping in content to be indigestible. So I picked this recent small piece to clean up the palate. The worse is yet to come.
Negra Sombra - Luz Casal. Another depression related song, this also brings me up to my childhood, but that vynil recording is lost to me. Just a sad song to feel sad.
Hotel California - The Gypsy Kings. Just what that virtual group had become, in a new form. I cannot kill the beast, but I can run towards the door.
Forever Young - Alphaville. The last personal touch, and I hope you are aware that is how it will remain in my memories. Nostalgia for the past.
God bless you merry, Gentlemen - Barenaked Ladies. Both a farewell, and a homage to the coming Christmas, the usual compilation dates. Something in its swing makes me listen to it continuously. ¶ 12:11 PM
I have already discussed my own approach for making a music compilation. Yet, this year I have changed things round, mainly because it is the last time I will be doing it with these people, and also because I want to send a message, which I do not usually do.
That means that this year, rather than choosing the songs for their impact on me, or how good I think they are, the main choice is the message they transmit, whether the music, the lyrics or both. Once again, if you want to receive it and haven't done so, which is more likely now that I have not updated addresses in a couple of years, drop me a message and we will work out something. The depth of the message will be lost on most people. You had to be there and all that. Contextual information that only a few share, and probably will be taken in different ways even if you were there.
So, as in previous years, here is this year's compilation.
Last
The intention is clear. I am burning bridges, so let's be open about it.
All Tomorrow's Parties - Japan. There are two different messages here. One is related to William Gibson and his novel of the same title. The second one is choosing Japan's cover, one of those 80s one hit wonders that made up my youth, and also the country that fascinates our small circle. The song itself, about time passing and what will you do resonates well with the rest of the songs.
Psychokiller - The Talking Heads. Both a pun with my nickname, and I really love the live version. Once again a symbol of a man running from himself.
The Ship Song - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. The imagery really fits with my own memories. More a what was than what is. Or what was lost.
The thrill is gone - The Waterboys (unedited version). In a nutshell, the why and the what, with some whining thrown in. It is no longer fun, and too often it hurts, if only due to the memory of how good it was. It probably could be considered a synopsis of my life, anyway.
Wish you were here - Pink Floyd. This came in mainly because I wanted to. Without forgetting the title and the lyrics are so representative of how the virtual often ends up. I also wanted to avoid using too many 80s songs, a weakness of mine, so I ended up with several from the 70s.
Sinnerman - Nina Simone. I run, this is a running song. And a wonderful song, the ten minutes of it. Probably I would have chosen a shorter cover, but as this is the Last, why worry?
Escuela de Calor - Radio Futura. A brief homage to where I come from, and if it does not really fit, you do not understand the lyrics anyway.
Cry if you want to - Holly Cole Trio. This has become my new mantra, more for the benefit of others than myself. I confess that I am tired of people being depressed around me, but we can only soldier on. Or not.
Personal Jesus (Acoustic) - Depeche Mode. Another ghost from my youth, retrofitted into the artificial teenage years brought about by the internet. The strange fulfillment that the virtual offers. What I am rejecting, at least for a while.
Pájaros - Gustavo Santolalla. Around here I was worried all I had were old songs, so dripping in content to be indigestible. So I picked this recent small piece to clean up the palate. The worse is yet to come.
Negra Sombra - Luz Casal. Another depression related song, this also brings me up to my childhood, but that vynil recording is lost to me. Just a sad song to feel sad.
Hotel California - The Gypsy Kings. Just what that virtual group had become, in a new form. I cannot kill the beast, but I can run towards the door.
Forever Young - Alphaville. The last personal touch, and I hope you are aware that is how it will remain in my memories. Nostalgia for the past.
God bless you merry, Gentlemen - Barenaked Ladies. Both a farewell, and a homage to the coming Christmas, the usual compilation dates. Something in its swing makes me listen to it continuously. ¶ 12:11 PM
5.12.08
Social shock
Those writers previously known as cyberpunk described technoshock, an undeniably phenomenon where certain people are unable to adapt or use a new technology, as it is outside their current frame of reference. There have always been a few people with this problem but the current frenetical rate of technological advance has increased its incidence tenfold. Most succesful technological revolutions are those that manage to integrate the technology without provoking much of a shock, as shown by the mobile phone industry. But there are always a few who are left behind, who manage to adapt to some aspect of this modern life but are unable to cope with another, whether it is the internet, credit cards, TV on demand or GPS.
Then there is a second aspect, what those same "cyberpunks" coined as "the street finds its own use", when those technologies start to change and mutate in its application from what their creators intended. From SMS to chats, from ebay shadow economies to peer to peer file exchange, those developments are driven by social rather than technological change. And once again you can be shocked, unable to use the technology in the new way.
Although maybe due to my technological bent I have avoided so far the standard technoshock, I have not been so lucky with those social applications. I am usually late in following the lead, and usually I am too inflexible to see the new possibilities. It is too comfortable thinking inside the box. A few times, the fact that my box is a bit unusual, it may seem as if I am outside most people’s box, but that is just a mirage. Another big handicap is my own introversion, as that limits my exposure to others, and these are a socially learned act, valuable within a social context. What use is an instant messaging system if you have nobody to message? On the other hand, if someone wants to message you, she will make sure you learn how to use the tool.
This social component has made the internet a true bazaar of the bizarre, as it is becoming more important socially, so people are twisting the expectations in weirder forms. And yet, they are still people, interested in the usual three things, sex, food and shiny things. And the transmission means flow from one social grouping to the others it intersects.
When shocked, people either feel fear, which usually turns to anger, or disconnected, which usually becomes sadness or even depression. The second one is my case, because it highlights my own limits, limits I had been ignoring for a long while. I suppose you know the feeling, riding the crest of the technowave and suddenly you are lost, unable to understand your fellow humans and what they are doing. That in itself is not bad, the bafflement competing with the challenge of puzzling out a new system. But once humans enter the equation, if the new approach requires human interaction, I am lost, and unable to proceed. Enough headbanging and I can, so far, make the mechanical parts to work. But I just cannot get over the "social" hurdle without help.
Some of you might wonder, is not this lack of human contact what causes the blues? But no, at least as I remember the sequence of events. I was unable to communicate, got despondent, lost contact, kept only those less advanced ones that still use mostly those systems I am still comfortable with.
The shock comes from being unable to adopt a new paradigm of how things work, whether a strong one (English and computers becoming critical in any global company) or a weak one (handle Facebook to keep your distant friends close). My hope is that does not mean I am too old to adapt, and simply I am, by character or inclination, less able to interface with other people through these new tools. Because that is what they are, tools, and as a tool using animal, tools is what advances our society, and we need to be proficient with certain tools just to function. So I am just unskilled and frustrated. Technoshock still sounds better.
¶ 3:55 PM
Those writers previously known as cyberpunk described technoshock, an undeniably phenomenon where certain people are unable to adapt or use a new technology, as it is outside their current frame of reference. There have always been a few people with this problem but the current frenetical rate of technological advance has increased its incidence tenfold. Most succesful technological revolutions are those that manage to integrate the technology without provoking much of a shock, as shown by the mobile phone industry. But there are always a few who are left behind, who manage to adapt to some aspect of this modern life but are unable to cope with another, whether it is the internet, credit cards, TV on demand or GPS.
Then there is a second aspect, what those same "cyberpunks" coined as "the street finds its own use", when those technologies start to change and mutate in its application from what their creators intended. From SMS to chats, from ebay shadow economies to peer to peer file exchange, those developments are driven by social rather than technological change. And once again you can be shocked, unable to use the technology in the new way.
Although maybe due to my technological bent I have avoided so far the standard technoshock, I have not been so lucky with those social applications. I am usually late in following the lead, and usually I am too inflexible to see the new possibilities. It is too comfortable thinking inside the box. A few times, the fact that my box is a bit unusual, it may seem as if I am outside most people’s box, but that is just a mirage. Another big handicap is my own introversion, as that limits my exposure to others, and these are a socially learned act, valuable within a social context. What use is an instant messaging system if you have nobody to message? On the other hand, if someone wants to message you, she will make sure you learn how to use the tool.
This social component has made the internet a true bazaar of the bizarre, as it is becoming more important socially, so people are twisting the expectations in weirder forms. And yet, they are still people, interested in the usual three things, sex, food and shiny things. And the transmission means flow from one social grouping to the others it intersects.
When shocked, people either feel fear, which usually turns to anger, or disconnected, which usually becomes sadness or even depression. The second one is my case, because it highlights my own limits, limits I had been ignoring for a long while. I suppose you know the feeling, riding the crest of the technowave and suddenly you are lost, unable to understand your fellow humans and what they are doing. That in itself is not bad, the bafflement competing with the challenge of puzzling out a new system. But once humans enter the equation, if the new approach requires human interaction, I am lost, and unable to proceed. Enough headbanging and I can, so far, make the mechanical parts to work. But I just cannot get over the "social" hurdle without help.
Some of you might wonder, is not this lack of human contact what causes the blues? But no, at least as I remember the sequence of events. I was unable to communicate, got despondent, lost contact, kept only those less advanced ones that still use mostly those systems I am still comfortable with.
The shock comes from being unable to adopt a new paradigm of how things work, whether a strong one (English and computers becoming critical in any global company) or a weak one (handle Facebook to keep your distant friends close). My hope is that does not mean I am too old to adapt, and simply I am, by character or inclination, less able to interface with other people through these new tools. Because that is what they are, tools, and as a tool using animal, tools is what advances our society, and we need to be proficient with certain tools just to function. So I am just unskilled and frustrated. Technoshock still sounds better.
¶ 3:55 PM
