Psychophant's Rants
27.1.06
26.1.06
On my mind
I am quite obsessed right now. So much that I did not spend much time checking the reactions to Hamas' victory in Palestine, the effect of the new Bolivian oil legislation on the big companies, or the Shiite government juggling in Iraq.
Last week it was books. I had a big pile of books that I really, really wanted to read. Now there are a few less, and the sudden urge is gone. But not because I read all of them, no. An old passion has reentered my life. Lead.
I suppose most will have seen the photos of my latest toy, a lead soldiers army. They are in flickr, after all. But what cannot be seen is how most of my waking hours, and too many of my nights as well, have been devoted to checking the web, books, references, and to write codes and scribbles in huge reams of paper, looking for the right Order of Battle and perfect set up for games using that army.
It includes looking for additional figures, to compensate what I see as lacking, or alternative armies that could be built with those figures (an early Burgundian, commanding Peter the Good rather than Charles the Rash, or an Imperial army, after the Empire received all the non-French lands of Burgundy, led by Maximillian) and a few extra others. Figures that have to be sourced, tracked and debated.
Then I also had to research my enemy next Sunday, an Early Tang Dinasty Chinese, an army 700 years earlier from the other corner of the world. But there is an Open Tournament next month and people are fine tuning their armies. So my Burgundians will probably see themselves invading China.
An old love (the last time I played De Bellis Multitudinis was fifteen years ago), that like an old lover comes back to haunt me. We have both changed, now I have more money and less time, and probably more experience.
The real question is, am I doing this to recover my twenty-something years? Or is this some show of change, recovering old social links.
We will see, but probably not here, as I suspect this series of reflections are drawing to a close. Too disconnected, to haphazard, too little time. ¶ 1:57 PM 0 comments
I am quite obsessed right now. So much that I did not spend much time checking the reactions to Hamas' victory in Palestine, the effect of the new Bolivian oil legislation on the big companies, or the Shiite government juggling in Iraq.
Last week it was books. I had a big pile of books that I really, really wanted to read. Now there are a few less, and the sudden urge is gone. But not because I read all of them, no. An old passion has reentered my life. Lead.
I suppose most will have seen the photos of my latest toy, a lead soldiers army. They are in flickr, after all. But what cannot be seen is how most of my waking hours, and too many of my nights as well, have been devoted to checking the web, books, references, and to write codes and scribbles in huge reams of paper, looking for the right Order of Battle and perfect set up for games using that army.
It includes looking for additional figures, to compensate what I see as lacking, or alternative armies that could be built with those figures (an early Burgundian, commanding Peter the Good rather than Charles the Rash, or an Imperial army, after the Empire received all the non-French lands of Burgundy, led by Maximillian) and a few extra others. Figures that have to be sourced, tracked and debated.
Then I also had to research my enemy next Sunday, an Early Tang Dinasty Chinese, an army 700 years earlier from the other corner of the world. But there is an Open Tournament next month and people are fine tuning their armies. So my Burgundians will probably see themselves invading China.
An old love (the last time I played De Bellis Multitudinis was fifteen years ago), that like an old lover comes back to haunt me. We have both changed, now I have more money and less time, and probably more experience.
The real question is, am I doing this to recover my twenty-something years? Or is this some show of change, recovering old social links.
We will see, but probably not here, as I suspect this series of reflections are drawing to a close. Too disconnected, to haphazard, too little time. ¶ 1:57 PM 0 comments
14.1.06
Time is not money
I really hate the expression, "time is money", because that turns people into tools, to be rented, so used, by those who can afford to.
It turns everything in an economic view assigning economic value to ideas and actions that do have value, just not economic. What is the value of a sleepless night? And the second in a row? How much is it worth to like yourself and what you have become? How much compensation for self-hate, for an unconceived child, for a lost friend? And all those are time, even if they are not money.
How much a heartfelt kiss? And yes, I know that there is people who sell and those who buy these. But don't we feel it is wrong when done by this reason?
Because once you accept that everything can be bought, all your actions then can be justified if you just pay for them. You are surrounded by machines then, not people.
For me, Time is Life. And not at a clock's pace. Life sets its own time speed, and yet, you will do just what you have time for. And there are two sets of time as well, the time as you live and the time as you remember. And your memory, which is what makes you alive as an individual, rather than many, has its own value of time, which is how you evaluate your life. How many hours we spend, dwelling on a certain minute, night, week, month? And how many years are just erased, sent to a dark corner, because their life value is small, for you?
Life is emotions and ideas transmitted through time. I assume intelligence will end up breaking the limits of our flesh containers, but I know it is unlikely to be in my life. Does it matter, at my end, if it is my life or my time what is exhausted? It is just the same. Which is my problem with most religions, as they try to separate your life from your time. Some try to sell themselves as an investment: Give us some of your time (or life) now and you get much more later. Some just say that your time is not limited, so enjoying the time now is not so important, as there is plenty available.
I know I only have this life, even if something similar to me might continue afterwards. That will be the problem of that other entity. My own time is limited and precious. So I try to use it wisely. Or pleasantly. Or both. ¶ 11:40 AM 0 comments
I really hate the expression, "time is money", because that turns people into tools, to be rented, so used, by those who can afford to.
It turns everything in an economic view assigning economic value to ideas and actions that do have value, just not economic. What is the value of a sleepless night? And the second in a row? How much is it worth to like yourself and what you have become? How much compensation for self-hate, for an unconceived child, for a lost friend? And all those are time, even if they are not money.
How much a heartfelt kiss? And yes, I know that there is people who sell and those who buy these. But don't we feel it is wrong when done by this reason?
Because once you accept that everything can be bought, all your actions then can be justified if you just pay for them. You are surrounded by machines then, not people.
For me, Time is Life. And not at a clock's pace. Life sets its own time speed, and yet, you will do just what you have time for. And there are two sets of time as well, the time as you live and the time as you remember. And your memory, which is what makes you alive as an individual, rather than many, has its own value of time, which is how you evaluate your life. How many hours we spend, dwelling on a certain minute, night, week, month? And how many years are just erased, sent to a dark corner, because their life value is small, for you?
Life is emotions and ideas transmitted through time. I assume intelligence will end up breaking the limits of our flesh containers, but I know it is unlikely to be in my life. Does it matter, at my end, if it is my life or my time what is exhausted? It is just the same. Which is my problem with most religions, as they try to separate your life from your time. Some try to sell themselves as an investment: Give us some of your time (or life) now and you get much more later. Some just say that your time is not limited, so enjoying the time now is not so important, as there is plenty available.
I know I only have this life, even if something similar to me might continue afterwards. That will be the problem of that other entity. My own time is limited and precious. So I try to use it wisely. Or pleasantly. Or both. ¶ 11:40 AM 0 comments
